It's almost a routine question at the dental office. Whenever a restoration is placed, the dentist always wants to know "how the bite feels." Having a distorted sense of perception with a mouthful of anesthetic, you muster your vocabulary to describe the bite as eloquently as conditions permit.
"Doc, I think it's a little high."
That may be the most common response to the quintessential dental question on the bite. It's not the only one. Perhaps because of the awkwardness of the situation, a number of creative replies have surfaced over my last quarter century in the practice of restorative dentistry, from: "It's long; it's short; it's tall; it's fat; it's tight; it's thick; it's big; it's bulky; it's full; it's elevated; it's raised and off center, to: it touches; it's prominent; it rocks; it's humungous" and that's just the beginning. Other responses include, "it's in the way: uneven; not level; off; out of place; up: not flush; missing; colliding; hits early; too soon; hard; it sticks out. It doesn't blend; it rocks; it rubs; it wacks; it stands out, it's overextended. There's: resistance; it's too much; it's too numb!"
Then there are the traveling replies: it rides; it's bumpy, lumpy, rocky, rolly; it's hilly; it's silly." (I still wonder how a filling can feel "silly"!)
There have been some especially imaginative rejoinders: "It's clumpy, nutty, knotty, crunchy, clanging, clicking, striking, riding, rough, sloppy, choppy, crappy and horrible. It crashes and mashes; it's in the way; it's quick; it rocks; it collides!"
"It's proud; it's wrong; it doesn't mesh; it's stiff; it feels like pebbles; it's all the above."
"It's strange, awkward, weird, foreign, alien, peculiar, funny, a little off, cockeyed, funky. "
"It tap dances." (That's especially inventive!)
"It doesn't mate." (I think she intended to say, "It Doesn't Match.")
Of course, every now and then we thankfully hear, "Doc, it's perfect, it's natural, like it belongs; just right; marvelous."
And, on special occasion, "Thanks, Doc. Was it good for you too?"
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