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The Effects of a Positive vs. Negative Attitude
David called me the other day. I hadn't heard from him in nearly a year. I could tell right away this was going to be one of "those" calls. David's voice was low, nearly monotone. The words crawled out very slooooooowly.
"How are you, David? Thanks for calling," I said.
"Same old, same old," David replied.
"What are you up to," I reluctantly asked.
"Not much, just work," he continued. "We just got back from vacation. But I got strep throat around Wednesday."
"That's too bad; I know how you look forward to your trip each year."
"Oh well, it wasn't the worst strep throat I've had."
Phew! Finally something positive. David took a vacation and the best thing that happened was he didn't get the worst strep throat he's ever had. When the best thing that happens to you during vacation is not getting the worst strep throat you ever had, how good could life be?
Now this is really an inspiring person I'd like to be around for long periods of time.
You've probably noticed that not everyone woke up this morning ready to make the most of today. Take David for example. When David wakes up, he has less than a 50:50 chance that something positive will happen in his life. David doesn't really like his job and feels trapped. He's nearly fifty and figures his life is more than half over.
As David's mood becomes more negative, so does his life. Cars won't start and handles break off in his hand. Injuries seem to happen more and more. He even broke a bone just sitting in his chair. He spills his coffee, on his desk or his shirt, at least once a week. His cat disappeared, a tree fell on his home, and his car was broken into. Even the slightest setback now puts David into a deep depression. When David's daughter fell off her bike and bruised her knee, she returned to school and he needed a few days to recover. People working with David wonder, "how much can go wrong for one person." Nothing seems to go right for David. Co-workers, neighbors and family feel sorry for David. Unfortunately, they also try to avoid running into him. When they are around David, they begin to feel depressed and hopeless.
Then there is Brian. Brian has a great attitude toward life. When you speak to Brian, you feel like you can conquer the world. Amazing thing is Brian has had some real tragedies in his life. He has a degenerative bone disease but remains active in sports. He lost his father at a young age but put himself through professional school. His wife died from diabetic complications and left him with a teenage daughter, who just completed her second year of college. Brian volunteers for several organizations and is chairman of several committees and boards. He manages a successful business and still finds time for friends and family. Despite personal setback after setback, you can count on Brian to have a positive impact on everyone and everything he touches. When compared to David, people want to be around Brian and will go out of their way to do so.
Until recently, many people accepted their fate in life as lucky or unlucky. But just as the Human Genome Project has deciphered the over three billion units of DNA, Dr. R. Chris Martin at the University of Missouri-Kansas City has been investigating the "code" to what makes people tick, the motivations of people. For nearly forty years he has created, developed and validated the assessment technologies, Quality of Motivation Systems™. The QM theory has identified motivational sources, or the picture of what's going on in your life right now, and the motivational skills, or the ability to control what's going on in your life and what you can do about it.
Dr. Martin has shown us that the single greatest human motivator is getting new positive things, from good food to a back rub and from finishing a good book to receiving an award for sales or graduation. Bottom line, people like getting new pleasures in their life and being around people who are positive. People with good motivational sources and good motivational skills make good things happen.
David has a choice. Whether people emit an energy like in the discipline of Feng Shui or not, I'll leave that to other researchers and consultants. What we do know, however, is that certain people seem to make positive things happen, while others have this special knack for making things go away.
Mentoring or coaching individuals on how to limit their skills at making negative things happen and giving them the controls over creating new positives in their life is a breakthrough technology in human performance. By teaching others how to create positives in their life or by just creating the positive things for them, the David's of the world can become enjoyable people to be around.
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