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Dental Humor: “How Does the Bite Feel?”
It's almost a routine question at the dental office. Whenever a restoration is placed, the dentist always wants to know “how the bite feels.” Having a distorted sense of perception with a mouthful of anesthetic, you muster your vocabulary to describe the bite as eloquently as conditions permit.
"Doc, I think it's a little high."
That may be the most common response to the quintessential dental question on the bite. It's not the only one.
Perhaps because of the awkwardness of the situation, a number of creative replies have surfaced over my last quarter century in the practice of restorative dentistry, from: "It's long; it's short; it's tall; it's fat; it's tight; it's thick; it's big; it's bulky; it's full; it's elevated; it's raised and off center, to: it touches; it's prominent; it rocks; it's humungous," and that’s just the beginning.
Other responses include, “It's in the way: uneven; not level; off; out of place, up: not flush; missing; colliding; hits early; too soon; hard; it sticks out. It doesn't blend; it rocks; it rubs; it wacks; it stands out, it's overextended. There's also resistance: "It's too much; it's too numb!”
Then there are the traveling replies: "It rides; it's bumpy, lumpy, rocky, rolly; it's hilly; it's silly." (I still wonder how a filling can feel “silly”!)
There have been some especially imaginative rejoinders: “It's clumpy; nutty; knotty; crunchy; clanging; clicking; striking; riding; rough; sloppy; choppy; crappy; and horrible. It crashes and mashes; it's in the way; it's quick; it rocks; it collides!”
”It's proud; it's wrong; it doesn't mesh; it's stiff; it feels like pebbles; it's all the above."
"It's strange; awkward; weird; foreign; alien; peculiar; funny; a little off; cockeyed; funky."
"It tap dances." (That's especially inventive!)
"It doesn't mate." (I think she intended to say, "It doesn't match.")
Of course, every now and then we thankfully hear, "Doc, it's perfect; it's natural; like it belongs; just right; marvelous."
And, on special occasion, "Thanks, Doc. Was it good for you too?"
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